Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem

Tips for Building Better Boundaries

If you want to have healthy relationships in life, boundaries are crucial. However, setting and sticking to boundaries is a skill that can be difficult for some people to master.

When you set healthy boundaries, it means you understand and know what your limits are. It helps you to improve relationships, become happier and better fulfill your needs. The question is, how can you build better boundaries if it isn’t a skill that comes easy to you? Below, you’ll discover some great tips you can follow.

1. Identify your limits

It will be difficult to set boundaries if you don’t know what they are. Each of us has different limits we are willing to accept. So, start by writing down your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional limits.

Think about what makes you feel stressed and uncomfortable. What are you willing to tolerate and what things are not OK with you? Once you have a list of your limits, you’ll have a better idea of the type of boundaries you need to set.

2. Say no without giving a reason

A great tip for setting better boundaries is to start saying no without providing a reason. Have you noticed that when you want to say no to something, you feel like you need to give an excuse? Often, this leads us to make up an excuse, leaving us feeling guilty afterwards for lying.

Learning to say no without giving a reason is much healthier. You don’t owe anybody an explanation for not wanting to do or accept something. This may be a tough tip to follow, but you’ll be surprised how free you feel when you start saying no without explanation.

3. Give yourself permission

The main things that set us back from creating boundaries are self-doubt, fear, and guilt. It could be that you are worried about the other person’s response. Or maybe you feel like you should be able to cope with doing certain things, so don’t feel comfortable saying no.

Give yourself permission to set boundaries. Realize that setting boundaries is healthy. Not only do boundaries contribute towards better relationships with others, but they also build up your self-worth too.

Be Yourself

4. Step back from toxic relationships

Many of us have a toxic relationship of some kind. Whether it’s an unhealthy relationship with our friends or family, stepping back is one of the best ways to build up boundaries. If a relationship is no longer serving you, taking a step back is one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself. It is never selfish or cruel to put yourself first in a toxic relationship. If anything, it is necessary for your happiness and wellbeing.

These are some of the best ways to build better boundaries. Once you have firm boundaries in place, your life will be much happier. You will start to feel more empowered and in control of your life. It isn’t just your right to make choices that best serve you, it is also a necessity.

Dealing With Inner Conflict

5 Ways to Address Inner Conflict

Is inner conflict holding you back? When we struggle with inner conflict, it is basically a battle between our emotions and thoughts. If a situation doesn’t turn out how we expected, it can release feelings of anger, stress, fear, and frustration.

There are many different types of inner conflict. You may know you need to end a relationship, but you keep talking yourself out of it. You may know you need to adopt a healthier diet but eating the foods you love is the only thing that gives you pleasure right now. Whatever the inner conflict is, it could be holding you back from a happy, healthy life. Here are 5 ways to address inner conflicts to be happier and more fulfilled.

1.Identify and confront inner conflicts.

You’re going to find it hard to address your inner conflict if you aren’t fully aware of it. However, identifying and being aware of inner conflict isn’t always easy. After all, it is much easier to ignore confrontation and the things that make us uncomfortable.

The trouble is, when you ignore your inner conflicts, they simply get worse over time. So, start by writing down what you want and the things that are holding you back. Then, delve into your inner conflict and try and understand where it comes from. For example, is it coming from a place of fear or comfort? Often, we stay stuck in routines because it is our mind’s way of protecting us.

2. Balance your rationale and emotions.

To address inner conflict, you need to be able to balance rationale and emotion. If you tend to focus more on your emotional needs and desires, your rational thinking will be compromised. Similarly, if you were to focus only on being rational, your emotional needs would suffer. To make the best choices, learn how to balance reasons and emotions.

3. Avoid making rash decisions

When you are going through an emotional time, be sure not to make any rash decisions. Take some time to think about what is best for you, without forgetting about the impact your decision will have on others.

It’s very easy to make rash decisions when you are dealing with inner conflict. However, staying calm and really thinking things through is going to lead to the best decisions.

4. Think about what you really want

Are you a people pleaser?  What is it you really want? Often our inner conflict comes from not doing the things we desire. If you are trying to please everyone else, you are only going to end up feeling miserable. So, if you feel like you aren’t being true to yourself, take a step back. Think about what you truly want and then focus your energy on that.

5. Practice meditation

Finally, meditation is a great way to address inner conflict. It gives you the peace and mental clarity to reflect on your life and the things you need to change. It may take a while to get used to it, but you’ll find great beginner videos online to help.

These are some of the best ways to address inner conflict. If you want to live a happy and fulfilled life, dealing with your inner critic is essential.

Common Self-Love Obstacles People Face

When you are trying to practice self-love, you’re going to run into a few obstacles along the way. These can really derail your progress if you aren’t prepared. By being aware of the common obstacles, you can take steps to prevent them. So, let’s look at some of the most common obstacles people face when trying to practice more self-love.

1. You aren’t surrounded by positive, healthy relationships

A major obstacle to self-love is toxic people. If you are surrounded by people who drain your energy and have a negative outlook, you’re going to struggle to practice self-love.

Surround yourself with positive, healthy relationships. While all relationships go through hard times, for the most part they should lift you up and make you feel positively about yourself. So, if you have relationships which cause you more misery than happiness, now is the time to start taking a step back and focusing on healthier, happier relationships. After all, you’ll struggle to love yourself if you are surrounded by people who make you feel bad.

2. Feelings of guilt and selfishness

Another big barrier to practicing self-love is feelings of guilt and selfishness. It is common to feel like self-love is selfish. This can lead to feelings of guilt when you attempt to focus more on yourself.

You need to understand the importance of self-love. It isn’t just a luxury, it’s a necessity for your health and wellbeing. It certainly isn’t selfish so you absolutely shouldn’t feel guilty for trying to love yourself more.

3. Needing to be perfect

Perfectionism is a major obstacle to self-love. While a little perfectionism can be a good thing, especially in business, it can also lead to disappointment, frustration, and unhappiness.

When you feel like everything must be perfect, you aren’t going to be happy when you fall short. So, try and let go of your need to be perfect. Understand what draws your perfectionism and identify your triggers. Remember, nobody is perfect, not even you!

4. Not understanding how to love yourself

Finally, another barrier is not understanding how to love yourself. Many people don’t fully understand what self-love means. They mistakenly think it is about doing things you want to do, rather than what you need.

Self-love isn’t just about treating yourself; it is about making sure you are fulfilling your needs. For example, if you want to lose weight, indulging in junk food isn’t going to help, even though it might be bringing temporary joy. Instead, a healthier diet and exercise routine is a form of self-love as it helps you to become healthier and fulfils the body’s needs.

These are just some of the common obstacles to self-love you need to be aware of. By being aware, you’ll be able to figure out how to overcome them if they do arise. Finding people, you trust and who build you up is a big part of being able to practice self-love. However, don’t forget to be your own personal cheerleader too.

To becoming the best you can be.

Fran Watson

#publicspeaking

Fran Watson

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Fran Watson

Involved in public speaking since 2000. Joined Toastmasters in 2002 and have served in all Executive roles including serving one year as the District Public Relations Officer. Achieved my DTM in 2014. Develop and facilitate workshops in the area of employment and career development.

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