Daphne loved the idea of speaking. She
wanted to grow her makeup and beauty business but she wasn’t sure how to get
started with speaking. Her mentor told her to focus on first defining her
Every speaker needs a keystone message. But
building this message can be tricky. Where do you start? What do you say? How
much should you talk about yourself? These are important questions and here are
a few answers for you.
Before you can begin crafting a message
that connects with your listeners, you need to get clear on who you serve. Who
is it that you’re passionate about reaching? Who is your product or service
For Daphne, she knew her audience would
mainly be women in their twenties to fifties. But she narrowed it down even
more by choosing to focus on mothers. That means when Daphne started looking
for events where she could speak, she focused on ones that catered to her
community (busy moms).
The next step in defining your message is
focusing on the problems your audience faces. Try to make a list of the top
10-20 problems that your community regularly brings up to you. This may be a
mix of big and small issues.
Daphne’s list included issues her audience
complained about like: dark circles under their eyes, lipstick that didn’t stay
all day, and foundation that appeared cakey or cracked.
Offer the Solutions
Now that you’ve had a chance to consider
what problems plague your community, think about how you can offer them the
solution. Chances are, you’re already offering the solution even if you don’t
Maybe your audience complains about the
lack of information about writing copy for Facebook ads. But you have a free
opt-in report on this topic. You can mention this solution in your
As you offer solutions, be sure to share
proof that what you’re teaching really works. Using the above example, you’d
want to share the story of a woman who earned an extra $10K thanks to following
your copywriting tips.
But keep in mind that results don’t have to
be monetary. Daphne shared a message from a client who found she was more
confident and felt more in charge of her life now that she knew her makeup
Makes You Different
At this point, you’ve got the audience
excited. They know there’s a solution out there for the problem they have. But
how you handle this next part of the process is important. You want to make
sure your listeners see that you’re the solution to their problems. If not,
they may go and do business with one of your competitors.
Daphne pointed out her makeup brand was
different because it wasn’t tested on animals and was entirely vegan,
containing no animal byproducts. This made her stand out in the audience’s mind
and gave them an extra reason to try her business over someone else’s.
As you work through the steps above, you’ll
get many ideas about what you can speak on. Be sure to keep a notebook handy so
you can write down your thoughts and use them as you craft your speech.
Tammy was a copywriting coach who was
looking to grow her business. A friend suggested she give public speaking a try
and encouraged her to experiment with the idea. Tammy was intrigued but she
wanted to know more about speaking and how it could grow her business. Here are
four key benefits of speaking that Tammy’s friend shared…
Speaking = Respect
The wonderful thing about speaking to a
group is that you have the opportunity to meet your audience in person. Meeting
people in person has greater impact than meeting them online.
One of the best benefits from speaking is
the boosted visibility. Not only will the people attending the conference or
event have a chance to see you, so will others even if they never attend.
That’s because the event organizer will have handouts, flyers, and other
promotional material that they share online and offline. So even if someone
doesn’t show up, they may still hear your name and remember you as the expert
from that conference.
Some business owners have made
life-changing contacts by simply getting to know other event leaders, topic
experts, and speakers. If you see someone you might enjoy connecting with,
don’t be afraid to go up and say, “Hello!” You never know where the encounter
Why Communication Is Today’s Most Important Life Skill
Communication skills have always been and will continue to be the most important life skill. Possessing excellent communication skills can help take you far in both your career and your personal life. Many make the fatal mistake of thinking this skill is not important due to the advancement of technology, however, it’s even more important as we also need these skills to communicate electronically and learn.
Being able to speak clearly in a way that you are understood and listened to is an important skill to hone and possess. You can work at and perfect it, just like any other skill, but you have to put the work in. In this article, we’re going to explain just why we think communication is the most important life skill to possess today.
Good Communication Skills Can Improve Your Social Life It should be obvious that being a good communicator will help to improve your social life. It can help you with loved ones, from friends to significant others to family members. When you possess good communication skills, you also tend to possess good listening skills, as the two go hand and hand.
If you have excellent communication skills, you will probably have fewer disagreements, drama, and fights. With excellent communication skills, you’re better prepared to communicate your feelings in a clear and concise way without hurting the other person’s feelings. You’ll be more able to get to the source of your problems instead of letting them linger or spiral out of control.
Good Communication Skills Improve Your Professional Life Possessing excellent communication skills is a key trait of successful people. Those who possess the skills and qualities of leadership also possess good communication skills. Leaders have to be able to communicate clearly what it is they need done and how they need it to be done. I have a friend who says that his business improved greatly once he learned good communication skills at Toastmasters.
Those in a leadership position at work are responsible for guiding, informing, and managing their staff. They have to be able to communicate correctly and kindly what they need to do, how they need things done and make corrections when necessary. It takes excellent communication skills to get the job done right.
Good Communication Skills Make You a Better Person Excellent communication skills help you to be a better listener and therefore have fewer fights because you’re better prepared to easily resolve the issues. This does not mean that you don’t have disagreements. What it means is that you learn ways to discuss difficult things in a calm and effective manner. You learn to listen to what the other person has to say without interrupting in order to understand their point of view. This improves your friendships and relationships, making them stronger and longer-lasting. Being able to sort through your problems, feelings, and disagreements can help you to develop stronger, more durable relationships
Communication skills have always been important as it is how we work through problems, discuss issues, and get things done. With the increase of electronic communication, people tend to disregard and neglect their communication skills, but the truth is that you need those same skills to succeed in electronic communication as you do in-person communication. Sometimes even more since the person on the other end can not see your body language – whether or not you are smiling, joking, or very serious and they will interpret your message based on their feelings at the time they read it.
While it can be difficult to practice your communication, in an effort to improve those skills, the work is well worth it. You will find that good communication skills will improve your relationships, your career, and your life. Honing your communication skills can do a lot to improve your life and make you a better person.
Remember the better you are at communicating, the better a person you become. You listen more and you don’t hold on to bad feelings, you communicate them and do it well. Good communication skills are essential to being a good friend, employee, leader, and a better person all around.
To developing your communication skills and your life.
Jasmine often called herself unattractive names. Sometimes, she did it when she was with friends and making self-deprecating jokes. But other times, she did it when she was angry and wanted to express her disappointment in herself or her behavior.
Tracy, a good friend, finally called Jasmine out on this habit. She said, “I don’t know if you’re aware of the way you speak about yourself but spoken words have more power than you realize. What you speak, you live out.”
Like Jasmine, you may not realize it, but your words do affect every area of your life and they can impact you for years to come.
Your Words Affect Your Confidence
When she was feeling good about herself, Jasmine used encouraging words to describe herself. She focused on self-care and body love when she had a victory moment like mastering a complex line of code for her website or getting a big project done on time.
But those moments were rare. Most of the time, Jasmine nit-picked what she did and constantly looked for flaws in herself and in her work. As a result, these negative words affected her confidence and she often found herself feeling ashamed and wanting to hide.
Your Words Impact Your Attitude
How you approach a big project or tackle a difficult conversation can be impacted by the words you use beforehand. For example, if you say that you’re headed back to the salt mines before you go to work on your novel, you’re going to associate the task with boredom and drudgery.
But if you say that you’re off to work on the exciting adventure that is your novel, you’re more likely to approach your writing session with energy and enthusiasm.This doesn’t mean that everything you create during that session will be gold. However, you’re more likely to be happy with your work and enjoy the process if you approach it with the right attitude.
Your Words Create Your Level of Success
Michelle was going back to school to become a nurse. She wanted to earn high marks in all her classes. But she often found herself saying things like, “I’m not smart enough to handle the workload” or “I don’t have the brains in the family”.
The words you speak dictate your level of success—whether in your work, your relationships, or your hobbies. You can only go as far as you believe is possible in life and in business.
Your Words Can Heal Your Self-Image
Patricia grew up with parents who were in and out of prison. She was frequently placed in foster homes where she was abused, starved, and unloved. When Patricia got older, she viewed herself as broken and worthless.
But a wise mentor encouraged her to look at herself differently. He said, “The beautiful thing about a mosaic is that what’s broken can be made whole with some creativity and imagination.” The Japanese art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not something to hide. Kintsugi (“golden joinery”), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum to make them more beautiful.
As Patricia slowly began to change the way she spoke about herself, she no longer used the word broken, choosing instead to say that she was a work in progress, a masterpiece not yet complete. The more she began to speak these words, the more she found healing and wholeness.
Your Words Create Habits
As Michelle, the aspiring nurse, learned
more about how her words affected her, she started paying attention to the ones
she had around her habits. For example, she tended to say things that include:
I always overeat.
I can’t be on time to save my life.
I never make it to the gym.
Since she was challenging herself to create
new habits, she decided to play with the words she used.
When she found herself saying one of the
three sentences above, she replaced it with a different one like…
I’m learning self-control when
it comes to portions.
I’m working to leave the house
10 minutes early.
I make the gym a priority.
The more she focused on changing her words, the more they came to life. Pretty soon, Michelle had a host of new, healthy habits that were fueling her body so she could reach her goal of becoming a nurse.
Your Words Produce Peace & Calm
words have a profound effect on your emotional state, too. Using certain words
can alter your perception of events. For
example, you could say, “I’m furious that my food is cold.”
With this statement, you’re focusing on a
strong emotion (fury) over a minor problem that doesn’t fully deserve this
reaction. But what would happen if you changed your words? You could say, “I’m
annoyed that my food is cold.”
The verbs you choose determine your emotions. If you choose mild words, you’re less likely to blow up over something seemingly small (like cold food).
Your Words Give You Space to Grow
It’s way too easy to talk about yourself in absolutes that don’t leave you open to new possibilities. For example, when Angel was struggling to grow her business, she often said, “I’ll never hit six-figures and be successful like my friends.” Have you ever used the words “never” or “always” when talking about your life?
The business coach she hired challenged Angel on her use of the word never. “Never is a long time. Are you sure you want to apply that word to your situation?”
Negative absolutes (like never and always) can leave you feeling trapped and defeated when you use them. If you find yourself saying them a lot, pause and ask yourself. “Is this a statement that I want to be true about my life or business?”
If you truly want to grow into your best self, you must be willing to give up the mindsets that hold you back. That means making friends with your inner trickster (also known as ego). Thank her for her input then suggest that she sit down quietly because you have work to do. After changing her mindset and the way she talked to herself, Angel achieved her six-figure goal.
Your Words Determine the Results You Get
Your words create your reality. They also determine the results you get. If you go to take a test in one of your college courses and you say you’ll fail, chances are high that you will. It doesn’t matter that you spent all night studying or that you know the material backwards and forwards.
Your mind is incredibly powerful. It manifests what you say, regardless of whether what you said was positive or negative. This means you will always experience the outcomes you predict, even when they’re painful.
However, there is some good news. You can change the results you get and the experiences you have by changing your words. If you approach the next test with confidence and the same dedication, you’re likely to ace it. Why? Because you believed it was possible, so your mind went to work manifesting it.
Your words are your most powerful resource. They can be a weapon you use to hurt yourself and cut down your potential. Or they can be an amazing tool you can use to harness to create more of what you want in your life and business.
How will you use your words? Dropping negative self-talk can change your life.
P.S. What if you discovered that you could change your life by simply changing your words? What if you became ruthless about removing words from your speech that were holding you back from accomplishing your deepest dreams? What if you stepped into your destiny by choosing to embrace words with positive energy?
With the 7 Words to Ban for a Better
Mindset workbook, you’ll discover the words that are keeping you from success,
what to do about them, and how to harness positive energy to create your best
life. Here’s a peek at what you’ll see in your workbook…
Erase Can’t from Your
Why Busy Is a Dangerous Word
Stop Looking for Life to Be
Get Off Your But & Change
No More Shoulds!
Abandon the Crutch of Always
Believe in the Possible
Create a Life You Love
Embrace the power of words today! Just sign
Dreams are not enough. Dreaming will not get us anywhere if we don’t take action on our dreams. Each and every day we need to do at least one thing that will move us forward.
I hear you saying, but “I don’t have the time
to do anything” or “I’m so busy there aren’t enough hours in the day to do what
I need to do.” But there are some things
that take only a few minutes that can help move you forward.
Did you know that wasting 15 minutes a day works out to 91
hours per year? What could you do with
those 91 hours?
If we read
an average of 12 pages a day (about 15 minutes) we could read 17-18 books per
We can learn
a new task, become an expert in our field of study, or upgrade our education.
exercise and stay in shape while tuning up our heart. 15 minutes 3 times a week will maintain a
spend the time in personal meditation or spiritual contemplation to bring
balance to our lives.
devote 15 minutes of quality time to someone we care about. We could choose a different person each
day. We could write a letter, send a card,
make a phone call or a personal visit.
We could sit down with someone and ask them a question and really listen
to their answer.
Your time should always be
spent doing things that help you achieve your goals and bring fulfillment to
your life. Plan your days and determine how you will use your time most
productively to accomplish your goals.
The next time you have 10 to 15 minutes, is
there a phone call you can make or a letter you can send? Can you write one page of your novel or your
blog? Is there a mailing list you can
sign up for that will provide you with information you need? Time to read five
pages of a book on your subject matter? Can you sign up to volunteer for an
organization in your dream field? You
will be amazed at what you can accomplish in 15 minutes.
Time is a unique resource.
Day to day, everyone has the same amount. It cannot be accumulated. You can’t turn it on or off. It can’t be replaced. It has to be spent at the rate of sixty
seconds every minute, sixty minutes every hour.
Time management, like the management of other resources,
benefits from analysis and planning. It
is a personal process and must fit your style and circumstances.
It takes a strong commitment to change old habits; however
you do have a choice. You can learn how
to better use your time to accomplish the things you want to do.
Drop me a line with your email address and I will send you some more Time Management Tips to help you reach your goals sooner.
To spending your time wisely
P.S. Leave me a comment if you would like a copy of my Time Management Tips
For years one of my fellow Toastmasters, by the name of
Fred Schuck has been insistent that we need to “seek first to understand” the
people we meet and interact with. On September 11th, yesterday, my
daily reading included this from Stephen R. Covey’s “Daily Reflections For
Highly Effective People”.
“Seek first to understand involves a very deep shift in
paradigm. We typically seek first to be
understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen
with the intent to reply.”
How many times do we run into trouble with others because
we view them from our experiences, our understanding, instead of taking the
time to know them and their views better.
Have you ever walked away from an argument or discussion saying, “That
person just doesn’t understand”? When
you think back on that moment now, did you really take the time to listen to
that person to find out more about them so that you could understand where they
are coming from. I know that I have been
guilty of this.
Yesterday many of us reflected on events that happened 18
years ago which changed the world as we know it. We asked questions that we could not answer. We sought answers to things we did not
understand. At that time, and since
then, we accused innocent people of things they didn’t do because they belonged
to a particular race of people.
It is time to stop. It is time to seek to understand, to learn, to grow, to become more. It doesn’t mean that we will agree. It doesn’t even mean that things will immediately change when we do this. But it’s a start. And it begins with you…and me. In a song I heard recently the words go something like this –“if not us then who, if not me and you. If not now, then when will it ever end”
To better understanding of those we live with and work with and meet today.
Have you been told this before? What does it mean? How are you supposed to get to know your audience when you are speaking at a new venue? An article in The American Society of Engineers says the following:
“To connect with your audience, you need to understand why your topic is important to them. What do they expect to learn from the presentation? Don’t assume the audience is like you. They may have cultural or geographic biases and the more you understand them, the better you can express yourself to them and avoid speaking gaffes. It is also important to know the level of knowledge they have about your topic, so you can present the information with the correct tone to keep people interested and engaged.
Whether you are presenting to a small group of 20 or a large group of 200, there are many things you can to do in advance to ensure that your presentation achieves the desired response. The most important is to know and understand your audience as well as the venue logistics.”
There are several things you can do to prepare and research your audience before and at the beginning of the talk that will help you adjust your speech to better engage the audience. The first thing is to Research. Call the person who booked you and ask questions about the audience. What do they hope to gain, who are some of the main people you should get to know.
Then Greet them at the door – get there early and say hello to everyone who walks through the door. If you have a little bit of time, ask them some questions about why they came, what they hope to learn.
You can also check out Toastmasters (as recommended in the article) by going to www.toastmasters.org and clicking on “find a club” to find a club near you. You can also find many good articles on public speaking at that link.
The more you know about your audience, the better you can tailor your speech to their wants and needs.
I was reading a blog this morning this morning and found out that August is sandwich month. The first thought that came to mind was a toasted tomato sandwich with a tomato fresh from my garden (although I am still waiting for them to ripen).
What is your favourite “go to” sandwich that you order when you are out or that you make at home?
I am currently working on a Speaking Topics Planner/Journal that will come with a list of over 800 speech topics. Sandwiches would make a great topic. There are so many ways to spin this. You could talk about comfort foods, the most popular sandwiches, where the sandwich came from, exotic sandwiches and more.
If you are a marketer, you could spin this into a marketing segment by offering recipe books with sandwiches and other food items. (Excuse me for a moment while I go and check if I have such a thing to share with you.) Yes, I found a link for a health Mega Pack
There are a lot of choices at that site – so many health and food topics – great information for anyone who is a speaker or a marketer, or both. And it is PLR information, so that means you get to use it, tweak it and make it your own and keep all the profits. You would be selling your own product, not someone else’s product.
There are some other wonderful days in August that I may write about as well. Some I missed, but I may find something to share about them – Girlfriends Day, Watermelon Day, Friendship Day, Chocolate Chip Day, Work Like A Dog Day, Wiggle Your Toes Day and today (August 9th) is BOOK LOVERS DAY. Oh my goodness this day was made for me.
If I took pictures of my house, you would see books in EVERY room, including the bathroom! I have over 8 book cases full of books and 4 of those are in my living room. Plus the tops of two of those bookcases and a small table are piled with books.
How about you? Are you a book lover? What are your favourite books?
P.S. My friend Connie Ragen Green is an amazing author and many of her books are available on Amazon for a very good deal. I have downloaded many of her Kindle books.
Peter Drucker famously said “What gets measured, gets managed”. What if you could measure your comfort zone? Would this encourage more people to face their challenges and live more exciting lives?
“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
― Roy T. Bennett
Marcus Taylor wrote: “In 2012, after a conversation about comfort zones with Derek Sivers, I decided to build this tool as an experiment to see whether measuring comfort zones was possible, and whether it would be useful to people.”
“Real change is difficult at the beginning, but gorgeous at the end. Change begins the moment you get the courage and step outside your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
― Roy T. Bennett
“Since then, over 24,000 people have measured their comfort zone.The algorithm has also been approved as scientifically valid by registered psychologists at Deakin University.
This tool remains free for everyone. My only request is that you take action and do something outside of your comfort zone.” – Marcus Taylor”
“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.”
― Pandora Poikilos, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out
Dale Carnegie – a well-known speaker said: “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie
And Brian Tracy, another well known speaker comments: “Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”– Brian Tracy
Connecting with Your Audience
The most important tool a public speaker can acquire is to learn how to make a connection with their audience. Once you can do this successfully people are going to enjoy your speeches and return for more.
One of the best ways to create a connection with your audience is to speak from your heart. Don’t just try to memorize your speech, talk with feelings and allow your emotions to rise to the surface. When people see you are passionate or upset by something they almost always immediately connect with you. They have probably experienced something similar that brings their own feelings to the surface.
Another way to set the tone of your speech is to pay attention to your opening. Very often you can capture your audience’s attention by giving them a startling fact or announcement.
Using stories is another compelling way to interact with your audience. If you use this angle you want to use a story that is true to you, and one that identifies with the topic you are talking about. If you are talking about your own journey on how you got to where you are today, you will have lots of stories to share.
One other great tactic is actually making use of a tool and that is by using images or graphics. This could be in the form of a slide show, drawings on a white board or having a pin board full of photographs. This works really well if you allow your audience to come up on stage and view them before your speech. Plus it allows you to mingle and to introduce yourself at the same time.
Take all the above items into consideration and see if you can use one or more of them in your next speech. Whatever you do stay true to yourself, don’t make up stories. If you don’t have one to share, you could always use snippets from a friend’s story.
The most powerful tool you have to connect with your audience is simply to use your voice and your body language. When you speak, speak with authority and confidence. Walk the stage and make eye contact with your audience and don’t forget the power of visual aids.
Remember that once you have learned the skill of connecting with your audience, you engagements will likely increase. You will become a more requested speaker than you thought possible.
To your success in stretching beyond your comfort zone.
Today I found an amazing site with all kinds of tips on self-care.
If you are like me, you often put others ahead of yourself and then wonder why you are so exhausted. It’s important to take time out to refresh and recover. This may mean just pouring yourself a cup of tea or coffee and sitting outside for half an hour, or maybe taking half an hour to read a book or some uplifting quotes.
It may mean talking to a good friend about what is going on in your lives over a glass of wine or a coffee or some lemonade. The drink part really doesn’t matter, it’s the conversation that makes the difference. Self-care is about giving ourselves relief when we feel overwhelmed.
It is important to recognize your stress indicators, such as mood swings, shortening temper, or feeling drained, overwhelmed, or angry. Use these “warning signs” to let you know you need “me time” and some self-care. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with too much social interaction, go home. Don’t be afraid to cancel plans or say “no.”
Giving your emotions free reign—or at least acknowledging your emotional state and moving on—is an important part of self-care. Before you can get better, you must acknowledge what is and was, and make those changes
It may be helpful to have a journal in which you can remind yourself of the good stuff in life by writing a list of things you’re grateful to have. Then post it somewhere you can see it often to help refocus your emotions when you feel down.
These tips are just a starting point. You can find many more here. I encourage you to check this site out and find some tips that you can put to use.
To improving your personal self-care.
P.S. Try some adult coloring as a form of anxiety and/or stress release. This can also serve to help you focus, be more mindful and perhaps spark some creativity.