Self-Love

What Is “Self-Love”?

First, let’s get clear on how we’re defining self-love. If you look it up in the dictionary, it has a negative connotation:

The instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one’s own advantage. Dictionary.com

That’s not what we’re talking about here. In this case we’re using the word self-love in a way that means not beating yourself up for past actions, or for looking in the mirror and loving what you see regardless of skin color, size, or number on the scale. We’re talking about self-love in terms of accepting ourselves…faults and all, just like He does.

So, how do you accept that God loves you even when you don’t love yourself? It’s not always easy, believe me I know the struggle. But, it gets “easier” as time goes on if you’re willing to put forth the effort to work on it.

Here are some tips you can follow to start accepting God’s love even when you don’t love yourself:

  1. Look up, not around you – we’ve already discussed, briefly, how society has caused us to believe if we’re not a certain height, skin color, etc. that there’s something wrong with us. When we look around and compare ourselves with how much money a friend makes, the fancy car a neighbor drives, the exotic vacations a colleague takes, it’s easy to get down on ourselves and start believing we’re not good enough.

But that’s not true! God doesn’t love us based on how much money we make, the vacations we take or the car we drive. In fact, none of these things matter in the grand scheme of things.

Stop looking around and instead look up and remember who you are in Him.

Come back tomorrow for some more tips

 

Fran Watson

 

Posted in Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Things That Are Important

Over the next few weeks I will be posting about things that I find important in my life.  Perhaps they are some of the same things you may find important.  If so, I hope we can discuss them.  Simply post a comment below.

Accepting That God Loves Me Even When I Don’t Love Myself

For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself. – Galatians 5:14 NIV

That’s a powerful verse and it’s found a few more times throughout the Bible too. And I’m betting you have no problem loving others. Sure, sometimes family can be a pain or our kids can make us crazy but when it comes down to it, we still love them. It’s ‘easy’ to love others.

 

But how well do you do when it comes to loving yourself?

“That was a dumb thing to say.”

“How could I have been so stupid to do that?”

“I’m so fat.”

“My nose is too big.”

“I’m so ugly.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“I’m not smart enough.”

Those words, or similar ones, are often spoken over and over inside our heads. They aren’t words we would ever think of saying to those around us – friends or family – but we can speak them to ourselves without hesitation. Why is that?

Sadly, society has trained us to fall into the trap of believing we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc. It’s taught us that if we aren’t a certain height, weight, and skin color (just to name a few) that there’s something wrong with is.

Or what about when we keep reliving past mistakes over and over in our heads? Better yet, what about when we’re with friends or family and we can’t stop bringing up the hurtful things we did to them years ago? Often, they have forgiven and moved on and don’t enjoy talking about the past hurts but we can’t stop doing it because we haven’t forgiven ourselves yet. And, finally – what about when we feel there’s no way God can love us when we don’t love ourselves and think our past sins are unforgiveable?

Why do we fall prey to those things and think those things about ourselves? Especially as Christians. God doesn’t want us believing those lies! Just look at Psalm 139: 13-15:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139: 13-15 NIV

Did you catch that? Fearfully and wonderfully made!

But let’s face it, we’re human and it’s not always easy to fight the self-sabotage and negative self-talk which makes it difficult to show ourselves self-love and grace which is right where the devil wants us – ‘hating’ ourselves.

Stay tuned for some ways to face the challenges and come out a winner!

Posted in Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Seniors Health Care

My experience with Senior Health Care has been varied.  For the past several weeks, since the end of November, I have been either at the hospital with my mother or living in her retirement residence 24/7 as she has coped with various health issues.  Most of these issues have been UTIs, which I have been told is common in the elderly.  The last bout, within one week of her being released from the hospital saw her with temperatures of 38.6 and 38.4 and a trip by ambulance back to the hospital. Thus I have had the opportunity to witness first hand senior’s health care from her living in a retirement residence, to hospital, to surgery in another hospital, back to the local hospital and more.

Our local hospital has a policy of “return home as quickly as possible”.  I think in my mom’s case the return home without checking if she had another UTI after having the catheter removed was a little premature.  They had actually wanted to release her even earlier, but I was sick and unable to take her back to her residence, so her release was delayed by about 4 days.  Unfortunately she returned in less than a week.

At her residence she had some support through Paramed, but the care left much to be desired.  There were no specific workers assigned, the times were never the same, and many PSWs wanted to put mom into her pyjamas before 7 pm – even when she was attending a special event being held at her residence.  More than once I told them that was NOT ACCEPTABLE.  There is a huge shortage for PSWs in our area – one reason I think is that they are not well paid and not treated as well as they should be with regard to appointments and travel costs.

I am lucky that I am semi-retired and able to work from home with my job as an online Career Counsellor.  My sister is not so lucky as she still works full time and lives 5 hours away, so she is not able to be with my mom as much.  She took time off work when mom came into the hospital as we thought we were losing her, however mom’s body overcame the infections and she is still here.  Her mind, however, did not survive the infections and the repeated hospital stays as well.  She has begun the dementia downslide and many days begin with “why am I here?”

There are many things that I see, being here at the hospital 12-14 hours a day.  I see that the hospitals are understaffed to take care of so many patients and the waiting time from asking to be taken to the toilet to actually getting there can be up to half an hour and sometimes more as the nurses deal with other patients who also need two person transfers.  Many times patients are left to wonder what is going on.  My mother has many times burst into tears while waiting, thinking that no one cares about her and that the nurses and hospital staff just want her gone so someone else can have her bed.  Yes, this is a part of her dementia/delirium, but it is difficult to deal with.

I don’t have statistics to quote and, although I now have my computer here at the hospital so I can work while she sleeps, I haven’t looked them up yet. That may be a project for another day.

If you have a loved one in the hospital, I send you love and peace.

I hope that you will have a blessed day.

 

Fran Watson

Posted in Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Measure Your Comfort Zone

Measuring Your Comfort Zone

Peter Drucker famously said “What gets measured, gets managed”. What if you could measure your comfort zone? Would this encourage more people to face their challenges and live more exciting lives?

Just imagine if you could actually measure your comfort zone.  How big would yours be?  Would it be the size of your comfy chair?  Or perhaps your living room?  Or maybe your basement where you watch a little tv, shoot a little pool and play games on your computer?  Or maybe you have already begun expanding your comfort zone and now it is as big as your neighbourhood.  Perhaps you have begun doing some travelling and have expanded your comfort zone to include flying and going to many different countries around the world.

Well, you can measure your comfort zone.  Check this out.

“In 2012, after a conversation about comfort zones with Derek Sivers, I decided to build this tool as an experiment to see whether measuring comfort zones was possible, and whether it would be useful to people.

Since then, over 24,000 people have measured their comfort zone.The algorithm has also been approved as scientifically valid by registered psychologists at Deakin University.  This tool remains free for everyone. My only request is that you take action and do something outside of your comfort zone.”

 Marcus Taylor

To continuing to stretch your comfort zone

Fran Watson

www.franwatson.ca

 

 

 

P.S.  What were your results from the Comfort Zone Quiz?

Here are my results:

Your Score Breakdown

Professional Comfort Zone Score : 91.9/100

Adrenaline Comfort Zone Score : 39.6/100

Lifestyle Comfort Zone Score : 88.6/100

Your overall score is 73.3/100, this is calculated by taking a mean average of your adrenaline, professional, and lifestyle comfort zone scores. Your score has been segmented into these three areas to help you focus on what’s most important to you right now. We’ve offered several suggestions below to hopefully inspire you with some things you can do right now to grow your comfort zone. You can also view a list of average scores here if you’d like to compare your score with statistical trends.

 

Posted in public speaking, Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fill Yourself With Confidence

Picture Yourself Filling With Light And Confidence 

glow

Take three deep breaths.

Think of something that brings you great joy.

Picture your whole body filling up with a bright glow, like a light bulb, as you think of your great joy.

Repeat an empowering phrase to yourself: “I’m safe,” “I’m cool wherever I go” or “I can do this.”

This reduces your body’s stress response and gives you the confidence to step out of your comfort zone.

You got this! – Nancy MarmolejoTalentAndGenius.com 

Continue reading

Posted in public speaking, Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Age Better by Embracing New Challenges

Did you realize that embracing new challenges can help you age better?

Our comfort zones tend to shrink as we get older — but if we can .  It’s easier to sit in the rocking chair, reading a book, or watching some television than to get up and physically do something new.  However, if we keep expanding our comfort zones, we’ll open ourselves up to greater fulfillment and improved well-being as we age.

A 2013 study found that learning new and demanding life skills, while also maintaining a strong social network, can help us stay mentally sharp as we get older.  This is important to keep us out of the hands of Alzheimer’s and Dementia.  We remain more able to look after ourselves and require much less health care.  We are fitter and stronger.  We have more friends, more motivation, and more happiness when we reach out of our comfort zones.

People often thought that the brain couldn’t keep growing after a certain age, but this has been disproved.  People can continue to learn new things all the time, but it is important to learn the things that will keep your brain stimulated.

Lead researcher Denise Park, a psychologist at the University of Texas, told the American Psychological Association. “The three learning groups were pushed very hard to keep learning more and mastering more tasks and skills. Only the groups that were confronted with continuous and prolonged mental challenge improved.”

Continue reading

Posted in public speaking, Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Expand Your Comfort Zone

Here are some ways to break out (and by proxy, expand) your comfort zone without going too far:  (from https://lifehacker.com/the-science-of-breaking-out-of-your-comfort-zone-and-w-656426705)

  • Do everyday things differently. Take a different route to work. Try a new restaurant without checking Yelp first. Go vegetarian for a week, or a month. Try a new operating system. Recalibrate your reality. Whether the change you make is large or small, make a change in the way you do things on a day-to-day basis. Look for the perspective that comes from any change, even if it’s negative. Don’t be put off if things don’t work out the way you planned.
  • Take your time making decisions. Sometimes slowing down is all it takes to make you uncomfortable—especially if speed and quick thinking are prized in your work or personal life. Slow down, observe what’s going on, take your time to interpret what you see, and then intervene. Sometimes just defending your right to make an educated decision can push you out of your comfort zone. Think, don’t just react.
  • Trust yourself and make snap decisions. We’re contradicting ourselves, but there’s a good reason. Just as there are people who thrive on snap decisions, others are more comfortable weighing all of the possible options several times, over and over again. Sometimes making a snap call is in order, just to get things moving. Doing so can help you kickstart your personal projects and teach you to trust your judgement. It’ll also show you there’s fallout to quick decisions as well as slow ones.
  • Do it in small steps. It takes a lot of courage to break out of your comfort zone. You get the same benefits whether you go in with both feet as you do if you start slow, so don’t be afraid to start slow. If you’re socially anxious, don’t assume you have to muster the courage to ask your crush on a date right away, just say hello to them and see where you can go from there. Identify your fears, and then face them step by step.

To your success

Fran Watson

www.franwatson.ca

 

 

 

P.S.  Keep up your journal.  Print out a new one for next month.

Confidence Outside Your Comfort Zone Journal

P.P.S.  Try Brian Tracy’s 4 steps to become a motivational speaker:  https://www.briantracy.com/blog/business-success/how-to-become-a-public-speaker-4-steps/

Posted in public speaking, Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Moving Forward: Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Moving Forward

Throughout these posts we talked a lot about taking action, about doing it anyway. We looked at our comfort zone and why it is so hard to break out of it sometimes. We established that the outer edges or borders around that zone are the realm of possibility and that we can stretch and expand our comfort zone into those areas simply by dreaming, imagining, and of course taking some action.

We also talked quite a bit about what happens when we don’t grow as people and spend some time being a little uncomfortable. If nothing else, that should inspire you to keep an eye on what you’re doing and move you to change when you are getting a little too comfortable for too long.

We took a closer look at the realm of possibility and last but not least I shared some of my favourite tips and ideas for stepping outside the comfort zone with you. I hope you’ve found this interesting, thought-provoking, and helpful.

As you have worked through these steps to move out of your comfort zone, I hope that you have discovered many things that interest and delight you.  I hope you have really accepted the challenges and tried something new.  I hope that you have a found an “accountability buddy” to help keep you on track, and out of your comfort zone.

My advice to you now is — Go out there, live life to the fullest, and don’t be afraid to step outside the box, do something daring and see what’s possible when you put your mind to it. Life is too short to stay stuck in our comfort zone.

Start diving into the realm of possibility for your life.  Keep moving forward and make every second count!

actionTo taking action…and getting out of your comfort zone

Fran Watson

www.franwatson.ca

 

 

 

Posted in public speaking, Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hiring A Coach

Hire A Coach

 

Last but not least, consider hiring a coach. If you are, or have ever been an athlete, I don’t have to convince you of the benefit of a good coach when it comes to athletics. Your coach can see what it is you need to improve and provide you with exercises that will make you better and stronger.

You may even have had a music teacher or coach in the past that helped you improve your skills. Maybe you even have a personal fitness trainer and nutritionist working with your right now to make improvements to your body. But what about the rest of your life?

When you have big goals to reach in business or in life, and you’re having a hard time making progress and moving far enough outside your comfort zone, hiring a coach – either a life coach or a business coach – is a great way to shortcut the process. A good coach can save you a lot of time and effort by pointing you in the right direction, helping you choose your path, and motivating you to dig deep and stretch further than you thought possible.

A good coach will push you out of your comfort zone by giving you exercises to make you stronger and better with regards to your business.  The coach will point out the areas you are weak in, the areas where you need more support and will provide that support until you are able to do it on your own.  You may be concerned about the cost.  A good coach will cost you, but what you gain will be far more than the cost.  It’s important to recognize what you want for your end result and whether or not you can really do it on your own, or whether you will slip back into your comfort zone without a coach.

 

 

 

I hope you’ve found these simple tips and strategies for stepping outside your comfort zone helpful. Most importantly, I hope you put them to good use. They won’t help until you give them a try and put them to action.

To finding the right coach to help you grow…

www.franwatson.ca

 

 

 

P.S.  Don’t stop now…keep moving forward…

 

Posted in public speaking, Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Comfort Zone Care

You Don’t Have To Go It Alone – It’s Okay To Need Support

 

It’s okay to need more support.  We briefly talked about getting other people involved when it comes to accountability. Let’s dive a little deeper in this tip about getting others involved. Having people around you who support you can be a huge help when it comes to stepping out of your comfort zone.

Find that supportive person in your life and recruit them as you very own cheerleader. This is the kind of person that lets you know that you’re making progress and is always happy to lend a hand or share some words of encouragement. This is the first person you want to call when you feel like quitting or need a pep talk.  I believe AA has people like this who are called sponsors for people trying to stop drinking.  The sponsor is available at all times to help and support the person they are working with.

Another great option is finding another person or even an entire group with goals similar to use. If you’re trying to go out there and walk more, joining a walking group will help.

While it’s usually pretty easy to find a running club in most towns walking clubs are a little harder to come by. Try using google to search your area. Other ways to find local clubs include checking with your local running club, running or sporting goods stores, the YMCA, and attending local races. You might also find groups on Facebook or at social sites such as meetup.com.  You might also find out about special events such as a Yoga retreat.

If you want to get more comfortable speaking in public, joining Toastmasters will help. You get the idea.  What is it that you would like to try?  What kind of support do you need to make it a success?

Finding others to work alongside is a great way to increase accountability, share knowledge, and makes anything more fun.

Come up with some groups you can join or do some research to see how you can find others with similar goals to mastermind with.  There are always others interested in some of the same things you are, it just may take a little longer to find them if what you want to do is a little out of the ordinary.

To finding help along the way…

Fran Watson

www.franwatson.ca

 

 

 

P.S.  There are many groups out there.  Just check for a local meetup group

Posted in public speaking, Self-Development, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment